Some of the quotes are original – taken from things I’ve written, but not posted. Other quotes come from books that influence me, or from my interactions with people. If you have quotes relating to sharing your faith, missional life, the current state of the church, outreach, the perception of Christians, generation gone, authentic Christian community, or any other related topic, send it to me at rlm@provide.net and If it fits in with the theme of the blog, I’ll add it to the collection.

Enjoy!

New Times Require New Methods

Much of what the church teaches about the “how-to” of sharing our faith focuses on presenting a certain set of propositions (e.g. God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life), trying to convince someone to believe those propositions and say a prayer of assent when you get to the end of the booklet. Those tools have their place, and had a degree of success in helping people share their faith. However, the world has changed in the 40+ years since the creation of the most commonly used gospel presentations. Basic assumptions of the nature of truth are different, people are not merely looking for a spiritual belief system to ascribe to, and Christianity is not the default choice for the spiritually curious anymore.

The 21st Century Wineskins Seminar addresses how the church can more effectively communicate the gospel to a skeptical and increasingly post Christian culture.

Module 1: Perception is Reality

Examines the findings of the book UnChristian about how those outside the church perceive us and my own research regarding Christians’ perceptions of non-believers. We take a look at the perceptions, examine how they create obstacles to both receiving and sharing the gospel, and look at ways we have contributed to the problem and how to change for the better.

Module 2: Creating Authentic Christian Community

Looks at some of the characteristics of the early church such as the “Four Devotions” (Apostles’ teaching, fellowship, breaking of bread, and prayer) and the things these devotions produce (togetherness, generosity, praise, witness, and fruit). This module also suggests ways to help create that type of Authentic Christian Community and shows how it is the context within which effective outreach takes place and is the element that will keep people committed to Christ for the long haul.

Module 3: Building Bridges Strong Enough to Bear the Weight of Truth

Most Christians want to share the gospel, but never feel quite up to the task. This workshop focuses on how to build relational bridges to those with whom you want to share the gospel. Using the metaphor of building a bridge we look at Laying the Foundation (Prayer), Building the Superstructure (Four Key Elements – Observation, Time, Attitudes, & Communication), and Completing the Connection (Establishing Trust & Speaking God’s Truth).

Module 4: Re-Thinking Evangelism

What is the first thing that pops into your head when you think of evangelism? That’s scary? I’m gonna be rejected? Not my spiritual gift? This seminar looks at how most Christians think of evangelism, gives an explanation of Relational Evangelism, and challenges you to rethink how evangelism could be done and will help you begin to share your faith in new and natural ways.

These are some of the things you will learn in this seminar

• Building strong relational bridges based on trust and mutual respect will allow you to lovingly speak God’s truth into a person’s life without damaging the friendship.

• Relational evangelism begins by seeing people as Jesus does, spending time with them, having Christ-like attitudes, and learning to communicate so people understand.

• In the context of Authentic Christian Community everyday Christians experience the power of God and bear fruit for the kingdom.

For more information about how Relational Life Ministries
can help equip you or your church for effective outreach contact:
Chris Hardy
phone: 734-646-3227
email: rlm@provide.net

Here are a few examples.

▸ John 1 – Andrew meets Jesus and asks where He is staying. Jesus invites Andrew and another person to stay with Him at the place he was lodging since it was late. As Jesus and the two guests enjoyed a meal together, they must have discussed the mission of Jesus since the next day Andrew tells Peter, his brother, that they have found the Messiah.

▸ John 2 – Jesus is at a wedding feast celebrating the joy of the bride and groom as they start their life together. Here, amidst the good times of the wedding reception, Jesus changes water into wine. This miracle “manifested His glory” and caused His followers to believe He was God’s Son.

▸ John 2 – The antagonistic relationship between Jesus and the rigid religious establishment of the day is seen in the story of Jesus chasing out the money changers and merchants from the temple. Jesus’ commitment to guard the honor of His Father’s name led Him to buck the system and point out the errors of the religious leaders who questioned His actions.

▸ John 3 – Jesus and Nicodemus converse late into the evening about spiritual matters like God’s love for the world, Jesus’ role as Savior, and how we can enter into a relationship with God by faith.

▸ John 4 – While the disciples have gone off to get some take out, Jesus talks with a woman, answering her questions about how best to worship God. It doesn’t bother Jesus at all that He is breaking with convention by talking to a woman with a shady reputation, even thought it surprises the disciples.

▸ John 4 – When the woman reports to her neighbors about her conversation with Jesus the whole town comes out to speak with Him. They invite Him to stay with them and He accepts – another break with conventional wisdom since the folks who offered the hospitality were Samaritans and considered both ethnic and spiritual half-breeds by the Jewish people of the time.

▸ John 4 & 5 – A social servant and a social burden are the recipients of healing at the hand of Jesus. The compassion of Christ was not reserved for any particular economic class. Jesus was just as willing to help the well positioned as He was the poor and helpless.

▸ John 5 – The religious elite and Jesus bang heads again in the last part of the chapter. While Jesus was loving and compassionate to people, He was not afraid to point out that some folks were off base in their religious beliefs.

What lessons can we learn from Jesus as we seek to share our faith with others? Here are four principles I took away from these stories

1. Spiritual conversations can take place in the course of everyday life. We don’t have to look for special opportunities or create artificial events to talk about our faith in Jesus. We can talk about our relationship with God in the course of our daily conversation with people. It’s is more natural that way and far more likely to be well received.

2. Social/relational settings seem to be the natural arena for spiritual conversations. Jesus talked about His mission over dinner, at a wedding, in a one-to-one conversation at home and at the “water cooler.” It was in the context of relationship (some of them quite newly formed) that Jesus spoke God’s truth into people’s lives.

3. Don’t be afraid to go against the flow of the religious establishment. Many of the people Jesus built relationships with were not the kind of folks accepted into the polite society of the religious community of His day. Sometimes we need to hang with “sinners” and that is going to tick off some “saints.” That’s OK.

4. Sometimes we need to speak God’s truth in love to people, even if they don’t respond positively. Jesus was not afraid to point people in the right direction when they had mistaken notions about God. Not everyone Jesus spoke to believed Him, and He was God’s son. So don’t be afraid to lovingly tell people what God has placed on your heart, and don’t worry about the results.

Post a comment about a lesson you learned from these stories or others you’ve read recently in your Bible reading so we can learn from each other.

“What Happens When We Have NO Friends” looked interesting in light of my last post. The article itself is not all that great, but the comments are both fascinating and heartbreaking. The article was posted on June 23, 2006. The most recent of the 1,700+ comments was posted 3 days ago. This topic really struck a nerve with many lonely people.

Please click the article’s title above and take a few minutes to read some of the comments. Then think of people in your circle of acquaintance who may fit the profile described in there. To my younger readers, please note how many of the lonely people are in their 20′s.

Some of those who commented spoke of feeling like outcasts, others said they lacked social skills, a few mentioned they were quite shy, others were bubbly, but couldn’t make connections, and, saddest of all, in my opinion, were the people who said their only friend in life was an animal.

Jesus was a friend of sinners – emphasis on friend. Look at some of the people he befriended:

▸ Zacchaeus, a corrupt government official (1st century IRS agent) (Luke 19:1-10)

▸ The Woman at the Well, a woman who had looked for love in all the wrong places (John 4:7:26)

▸ A life-long paraplegic with no one to help him when he most needed it (John 5:1-9)

▸ The “Untouchable,” a leper shunned by the rest of the community (Matthew 8:1-3)

If they were alive today, I can imagine each one of these people responding to this blog. They all had one thing in common – no friends. That is until Jesus came into their life.

So, here’s my challenge to us all, but especially to those who claim to be followers of Jesus – Look around you for lonely people, follow the lead of your Lord and Savior, and extend a hand of friendship.

Look for:

▸ The person at school or work who always sits alone in the cafeteria. Go sit with them.

▸ The person in the office who always seems to be just outside the circle of conversation. Take a step back and make room in the circle for them.

▸ The person who is socially awkward and occasionally embarrasses themselves in public. Open your heart and extend grace and show you accept them rough edges and all.

▸ The person whose only living companion is a pet. Invite them to dinner, out for a cup of coffee, to your kid’s soccer game. Let them know there is a sentient being other than the cat who cares for them.

▸ The person who is feeling suicidal and thinks that no one would miss them if they were gone. Come alongside them and let them know you’d miss them if they were to take their own life.

Doing this won’t be easy.

We may feel we are already “too ‘friended’” as one reader put it recently. He went on to say, “We have so many relationships that we don’t have either the desire or room for more. To change that requires a pretty deliberate action, maybe even the reduction of time with existing friends, brothers and sisters in the Lord.”

This is exactly what Jesus calls us to – deliberate action to move outside of our me-centered world into the worlds of the hurting and lonely. Following Jesus is to say, “Yes, I have room for you in my circle of friends.” He would do it if he were physically present on earth, but since he’s not, he asks us to do it for him. As Christ followers we are his hands and feet, eyes and ears, and most importantly, his heart.

By following Christ into the world of the lonely we have the potential to change someone’s life, but may also save one as well.

We were encouraged by our teachers to practice speaking Spanish with the Costa Ricans as much as possible. Julia wanted to be a good neighbor so she took a small baby gift over to Tanya to introduce herself and meet their first-born, a little girl named Navil. It was a small beginning to a great friendship. This gesture opened up a relationship that lasted beyond our time in Costa Rica. We had friendships with other Ticos (a nickname for Costa Ricans), but none as special as Tanya and Eduardo. The stories I can tell you are far too numerous for this post, but let me share one with you.

We arrived in Costa Rica in September and had begun to learn Spanish, but were still very, very far from fluent. Tanya and Eduardo helped us practice almost every day as we met for dinner or to watch TV together. In October, to celebrate Costa Rica’s Independence Day, the area of town we lived in held a festival (kind of like a state fair). There were rides, games, food, a bull-fight, and booths where you could try to win trinkets. Tanya and Eduardo invited us to attend the festival with them and we accepted.

We spent about 4-5 hours together walking around eating, shooting underpowered BB guns at targets trying to win peluches (stuffed animals) for our kids, watching drunken men run away from the bull at the “bull-fight”, and generally having a wonderful experience. We hardly said ten words the entire afternoon.

When we got home Eduardo asked me if I had enjoyed myself.

“I had a great time, Eduardo. I just wish we could have talked more,” I replied.

Eduardo got this pensive look on his face (I can still see it as if it were last week) and said one of the nicest things anyone ever said to me.

“El idioma es un abismo entre nosotros, pero el amistad es el puente.”

“Language is a chasm between us, but friendship is the bridge.”

What does this story have to do with sharing your faith? Simply this: there are all kinds of chasms between you and those with whom you wish to share the good news of Jesus’s love; it may be suspicion of your motives, having been hurt by Christians or the church in the past, sensing no need for a savior, not understanding a word we say (being “washed clean in the blood of the Lamb” just doesn’t sound very appealing), or any number of other things.

Friendship is the bridge that spans the chasms between you and others. Friendship with no strings attached. Friendship that says:

▸ I am your friend even if you are suspicious.

▸ I am your friend and will do my best to never hurt you in the name of Jesus.

▸ I am your friend even if you don’t believe the way I do.

▸ I am your friend and will try to tell you what I believe so you can understand.

▸ I am your friend and will love you no matter what you do because that’s what Jesus did.

The gospels called Jesus a “friend of sinners” (Matthew 11:19 & Luke 7:34). Nicodemus (John 3), the woman at the well (John 4), the rich young man (Luke 18), and Zachaeus (Luke 19) were some of the people Jesus befriended. Not all of them chose to follow Him, but He loved them anyway. He taught His closest friends how to become disciples. Jesus is our model. He showed us that His way of sharing the message of God’s love and grace was in the context of relationship. If we are to be imitators of Christ,let’s span the chasms that separate us from the people God brings into our lives with bridges of friendship so they can have the chance to experience God’s grace in their lives.

One of the pastors, a Messianic Jew, was praying. Part of his prayer was in Hebrew, then he would translate into English. He addressed God as Adonai Tzevaot (Lord of Hosts) the One who is Lord over the heavens and the earth.

When I heard those words it was like the Lord was saying to me, “Chris you’ve been lookin’ the wrong way.” For the last two years or so my focus has been on the shortcomings of the church. Today I realized it must be on the Lord.

I need to learn to be an imitator of God more than a critic of the church. As I become more Christ-like, more obedient to the greatest commandments (loving God and loving my neighbors), then I will be more able to help others become imitators of Christ as well.

Let’s pray for and encourage each other to “fix our eyes on Jesus”, to follow His example of love, and seek to be little Christs where He has put us.

“Is Christianity a belief or a lifestyle?”

I paused for a moment gathering my thoughts and replied that Christianity is both.

“Christianity is a belief system that should impact your lifestyle,” I replied.

It is not belief or lifestyle, but belief and lifestyle. Jesus said, “Everyone then who hears these words (belief) of mine and does (lifestyle) them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. (Matthew 7:24) Italics mine.

I gave him an example to illustrate my answer.

“The bible says, ‘Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.’ (Philippians 4:8) If, before you become a Christian you like gory, slasher movies, which are not pure or lovely or commendable, you should stop watching them after you become a Christian. What you believe should influence what you do.”

Tevin thought for a moment and said, “There are not many Christians in Taiwan, so when someone says they are a Christian we watch them very carefully. Many of the people say they believe in Jesus, but still watch the slasher movies. That’s what made me wonder if Christianity is a belief of lifestyle. If I ever become a Christian I do not want to be one that only believes.”

People are watching our lives as well. They want to see if we merely believe in Jesus or if we imitate him as well. Does our faith impact how we live. If it doesn’t, why should we expect people to believe in Jesus?

Belief or lifestyle. As you introduce people to Jesus is it so they will believe in Jesus? Or are you inviting them to follow Him? It must be both. Jesus asked people to believe in him (John 14:1), and He called people to follow Him (Matthew 16:24). Like Tevin, those searching for spiritual answers today want something more tangible than intellectual ascent to a creed. This is what Jesus offers – a belief that transforms the way we live. Let’s be James 2 Christians that demonstrate our faith by what we do. As we allow our beliefs to shape our behavior we will show that following Christ is both a belief and a lifestyle.

The Retail Church by Chris Thron looks at some of the unintended consequences of not having neighborhood churches.

The Psychology of Worship and Church Growth by David Virtue examines some of the key elements that make a church a vibrant faith community, and what happens when they are absent.

I hope you enjoy these articles as much as I did. A special thanks to my father-in-law for sending me the link to David Virtue’s commentary.

▸ Why is it that week after week millions of us meet, sing some songs, listen to a sermon, have a cup of coffee, talk about things that don’t really matter, and go home unchanged?

▸ Why do we spend so much time on programs within the church that we have no time or energy to minister to people outside the church? (I read recently that 51% of Americans say they don’t know an evangelical Christian).

▸ Why are we satisfied to call a pot luck dinner and small talk fellowship?

▸ Why are we so afraid to let those we call our brothers and sisters know our short comings, our fears, ours sins?

▸ Why are so many of our kids dropping out of church, or worse, leaving their faith behind altogether?

▸ Why do so many Christians feel that they are doing well in their relationship with God because the regularly attend church services?

▸ Why do we spend so much money on buildings, retreats, concerts, computers, lights, choir robes, and coffee when there is so much real need in the world that is going unmet?

▸ Why is God so powerful and His church so (seemingly) impotent?

▸ How am I part of the problem?

▸ How is God calling me to be part of the solution?

Like Todd Agnew says, “I’ve got better questions than I have answers.” Let’s seek the Lord together to get His answers.

10. I was able to step back from the busyness of being an elder, a member of the pastoral search committee, occasional preaching, and trying to start a small group for men, among other things. Becoming an outsider gave me something I lacked while we were regular churchgoers – time. I now had time to think. Why was I doing all these things? Is this really what God wants me to do? Were my motives for service always godly?

9. A lot of church activities and programs I was involved in were busy work. For example, I spent way too much time in elder meetings and not nearly enough time doing the job of caring for the congregation.

8. Much of what I did in the name of fellowship (at least on Sunday morning) was simply small talk over coffee and high carb snacks. Rarely did I ask people what God was teaching them or if they had any burdens I could help them carry. I mostly talked about work, kids, weather, sports, and other “safe” topics. I didn’t share a common life with my brothers and sisters centered on our relationship to Christ, and even more rarely did I work together with them for a common goal which brought glory to God.

7. When I first quit going to church I thought I had all the answers to the church’s problems, now I know I don’t. I believe the Lord has given me good insights into ways the church could make positive changes to more effectively reach a skeptical culture, but He has also shown me He’s the church’s savior and I’m not.

6. There are a lot of people who have been hurt in some way by the church. They do not want to be churchless Christians, but have found being part of a church makes it harder for them to follow Christ rather than easier.

5. I visited several churches during The Year Without Church and found most of them sorely lacking in friendliness to new people. At many of the churches I visited not one person spoke to me either before or after the service, even if I visited more than once. It is all too common to be ignored when you are a new visitor.

4. When I attended church regularly I was so busy maintaining church programs or was sufficiently satisfied with the status quo to realize there might be different and better ways to do things.

3. I deeply miss being with other Christians and sharing Authentic Christian Community, but I do not miss attending church services. When did church become a spectator sport?

2. The Church, when operating in the power of the Holy Spirit and according to scriptural guidelines, has the potential to be the most powerful force for God the world has ever seen. When it does not operate this way, the Church is merely a semi-sacred country club designed to benefit its members.

1. Just like it was not good for Adam to be alone in the Garden, it is not good for me to be alone in my Christian journey. I desperately need to be a part of a vital faith community that is devoted to Jesus and to each other; a group of people who are committed to bear each other’s burdens, love each other, forgive and put up with one another, encourage, not judge each other, work together to more fully reflect the love of Christ both within the church and to a world in need of God’s mercy and grace.

Is there a church like that? If so, please pray we will find it, and soon.